Dirty Little Secrets

While working at the Wildwood Lodge in Snowmass, Colorado I had a number of interesting experiences with guests and their sometimes strange behaviors.

One of the most amusing parts of my job was the incidental charges that would sometimes come up on a guest's bill.

One thing that everyone should know when staying in a hotel, motel or resort is that the front desk staff knows when you have watched porn in your room. (In fact so does the housekeeping staff)  The charge for Finding Nemo is $9.95, the charge for Buffy the Vampire Layer is $11.12.

The other thing to keep in mind is that, yes, we can remove the charge from the bill if you pay separately.  If you do not wish to pay for it separately, no, your company will not know that the $11.12 charge was you watching Chicks with Dicks.

Pimp My Ride

I once thought that my mission in life could be to rid the southeastern United States of all of those Calvin Stickers. You know the ones; the cartoon Calvin character from Calvin and Hobbs that decorates every oversized pick-up driven by a "Bubba" or "Duane." The cartoon that has a consistently full bladder and chooses to relieve itself on the Ford/ Chevy brandname or popular Nascar racing number.

I seriously contemplated knocking off entire parking lots full of these vehicles while they sit, innocently parked, at the local Sizzler or Cafe Erotica.

This mission in life took a slight turn the other day when I was approached by a local Sudanese guy who walked into our sign shop proclaiming that he needed some cool graphics produced for his 1993 Toyota, Corolla. In an instant I realized that this car graphic outbreak was not contained to the isolated area of the Southeast but was in fact, wide-spread throughout the earth.

S-Beggs, (yes, that was his name) proceeded to request a number of slogans to be cut out of black vinyl and applied to his sweet ride. These slogans included "The taste of what it is", "Only God can Judge me", "The People's Choice", "Lil P" and my favorite "Niggaz for Life". This was all topped off with an American Indian eagle/ dream-catcher print installed to the hood of his car???

On that Friday afternoon, as I stood out in our parking lot on the other side of the earth, installing "Niggaz for Life" to the rear passenger side of S-Beggs' vehicle, I couldn't help but think.........."my parents would be so proud."

With that being said, I have to admit that we are all in-fact guilty of this type of vehicle decoration. Though not as brazen, all of those discreet G's and AU's that we all have somewhere on our cars are a form of expression. "This is my team", "this says something about me." So I guess I have to have a little bit of patience for all of those Calvins and the occasional "Niggaz for life."